I stumbled upon this article and it's pretty depressing. It claims losing a sibling is linked to premature death. Sure when my brother passed I felt like part of my soul went with him and I didn’t see much reason to live, but seeing something like this is still a shock.
I’m sure none of us want to see a news article telling us that our already traumatic lives will be short lived. I want to de-bunk this article, so stretch, relax and get ready for a long life ahead. First of all news.com.au isn’t the most credible source, as Tim Burrows said; when he reads new.com.au he often feels like ‘’bashing my head on the desk” and man, I felt that way too after trying to read the first six lines of the story. I still don’t really understand the findings of this Danish study that has dammed us all to death so I don’t think we need to stress. The rest of the story explains how bereaved siblings feel a magnitude of grief that can cause mental health issues. No shit, but we are finally seeing proof that bereaved siblings need more support. The abrupt headline is really just click bait, we already know we feel overlooked and isolated however it encourages people to connect us with support services. I absolutely agree, if I didn’t have support I would be in a bad place mentally, I was, even with supportive people in my life. It is SO important to find support; parents are often not helpful as they are grieving too. I found friends helpful, but realised I needed to reach out first as they didn’t want to force their support on me. As hard at it seems, don’t be afraid to ask for help, (clichI stumbled upon this article and it's pretty depressing. It claims losing a sibling is linked to premature death. Sure when my brother passed I felt like part of my soul went with him and I didn’t see much reason to live, but seeing something like this is still a shock. I’m sure none of us want to see a news article telling us that our already traumatic lives will be short lived. I want to de-bunk this article, so stretch, relax and get ready for a long life ahead. First of all news.com.au isn’t the most credible source, as Tim Burrows said; when he reads new.com.au he often feels like ‘’bashing my head on the desk” and man, I felt that way too after trying to read the first six lines of the story. I still don’t really understand the findings of this Danish study that has dammed us all to death so I don’t think we need to stress. The rest of the story explains how bereaved siblings feel a magnitude of grief that can cause mental health issues. No shit, but we are finally seeing proof that bereaved siblings need more support. The abrupt headline is really just click bait, we already know we feel overlooked and isolated however it encourages people to connect us with support services. I absolutely agree, if I didn’t have support I would be in a bad place mentally, I was, even with supportive people in my life. It is SO important to find support; parents are often not helpful as they are grieving too. I found friends helpful, but realised I needed to reach out as they didn’t want to force their support on me. As hard at it seems, don’t be afraid to ask for help, (cliche in know), the perspective of others helps. Sometimes I felt like nobody understood my pain, so I read, hung out with my pets, walked, laid out in the grass and napped (vitamin D does wonders), I ate comfort food and did whatever the hell I wanted to do that would avoid me falling into more of a depressed state. Stuff the article, we are here for as long as we can be, we just have to make sure we do whatever we can to keep wanting to be here. (cliché I know), the perspective of others helps. Sometimes I felt like nobody understood my pain, so I read, hung out with my pets, walked, laid out in the grass and napped (vitamin D does wonders), I ate comfort food and did whatever the hell I wanted to do that would avoid me falling into more of a depressed state. Stuff the article, we are here for as long as we can be, we just have to make sure we do whatever we can to keep wanting to be here.
0 Comments
I really decided to write my own blog on sibling illness/grief purely because there’s a chance somebody can relate to it and feel less alone.
For six years I felt alone as my brother suffered, sure I was offered avenues of help but nothing ever felt ‘right’. A Psych from the hospital spoke to me for an hour the day I found out my brother had cancer and sent me off with books and pamphlets that were supposed to help. Even at thirteen, I felt the tools given to help me didn’t, they seemed to upbeat and distant, unable to truly relate. At fourteen I joined Canteen, my brother did not want to participate but I thought if it could help me then why not, I felt the same about Canteen as I did the pamphlets, it was almost avoiding the elephant in the room and although I was welcome, I was after a place for purely siblings, where I could ask people how they dealt with it without judgement, if they ever felt guilty for being ‘healthy’, if they ever wished it was them and how they helped their sick sibling. After a while I just gave up, I would occasionally search for blogs on people in my position but hardly found anything and if I did nothing would be right, I would find the authors were too old and although they were in the same position as me, their experiences and mind set were too different. For about five years I kept my feelings inside, my brother did not like to talk about being sick, we pretended like he wasn’t. Because I did not let anything out, I would have huge breakdowns once every few months. I started seeing a psychologist in December 2016, who encouraged me to write. My brother passed away in March 2017, I dived back into the world of blogs, I found plenty on sibling grief however nothing that I as an Australian teenager/young adult could relate too, most bloggers had other siblings to lean on, I had nobody else. Their advice was not tailored to a world where even death is consumed by social media. I got worked up and sick of having nobody in this journey to relate to, so I decided to relate to myself, and give someone else the chance of feeling less alone. |
How I am currently dealing with the loss of my only sibling, real time, without a clue what to do. ArchivesCategories
|