I really decided to write my own blog on sibling illness/grief purely because there’s a chance somebody can relate to it and feel less alone.
For six years I felt alone as my brother suffered, sure I was offered avenues of help but nothing ever felt ‘right’. A Psych from the hospital spoke to me for an hour the day I found out my brother had cancer and sent me off with books and pamphlets that were supposed to help. Even at thirteen, I felt the tools given to help me didn’t, they seemed to upbeat and distant, unable to truly relate. At fourteen I joined Canteen, my brother did not want to participate but I thought if it could help me then why not, I felt the same about Canteen as I did the pamphlets, it was almost avoiding the elephant in the room and although I was welcome, I was after a place for purely siblings, where I could ask people how they dealt with it without judgement, if they ever felt guilty for being ‘healthy’, if they ever wished it was them and how they helped their sick sibling. After a while I just gave up, I would occasionally search for blogs on people in my position but hardly found anything and if I did nothing would be right, I would find the authors were too old and although they were in the same position as me, their experiences and mind set were too different. For about five years I kept my feelings inside, my brother did not like to talk about being sick, we pretended like he wasn’t. Because I did not let anything out, I would have huge breakdowns once every few months. I started seeing a psychologist in December 2016, who encouraged me to write. My brother passed away in March 2017, I dived back into the world of blogs, I found plenty on sibling grief however nothing that I as an Australian teenager/young adult could relate too, most bloggers had other siblings to lean on, I had nobody else. Their advice was not tailored to a world where even death is consumed by social media. I got worked up and sick of having nobody in this journey to relate to, so I decided to relate to myself, and give someone else the chance of feeling less alone.
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How I am currently dealing with the loss of my only sibling, real time, without a clue what to do. ArchivesCategories
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